I haven’t always been grateful for my life and I still struggle with being thankful for a life that isn’t what I wanted, or imagined it would be. The good news is, I’m finding when I stop “doing” and focus on “being”, I can catch some much-needed moments of peace.
It’s easy for me to get caught up in my “to do” list and finding worth in the number of items I cross off it. After going to the grocery store and putting the groceries away (crossed that off my list!) I decided to take a few minutes and rest on my front porch. The sun had already set, but darkness hadn’t taken over yet. The wind chimes hanging over the edge of the deck made beautiful music, which helped me relax in the moment.
My gaze went past my feet propped on the railing and through the thick tree branches. Instead of dwelling on the things that bring me down, my thoughts went to what is good. In those minutes alone- taking in the breeze, listening to wind chimes, as the light gave way to darkness, I became conscious of the thought that I was thankful to have a house with a deck, with beautiful trees in front of me. I looked to my left and saw my continuing project.
And then I thought how thankful I was to have the money to pay for the rocks. I don’t have the money to pay someone to move it for me, but that’s okay. At least I am able to do it myself. Look at that, another item for my mental after-sunset “thankful” list!
It was after 8pm when I went inside. I debated about whether to fix something for dinner. Since it’s just me and I didn’t have the kids, I decided to be cat-like in my choices…
… since no one was looking, I had an ice cream sandwich for dinner. I don’t eat those often, so it sure was yummy (and I can be thankful that I can work it off tomorrow!) Not even the prospect of getting outside by 6am to make the rock pile smaller dampened my mood.
Maybe it’s the Friday Effect (no work for 2 days) or maybe I’m finally seeing a shaft of light at the end of my long, dark tunnel. Either way, I’ll take it 🙂
Have a beautiful weekend!